Published Thursday, 29-Jun-2006 in issue 966
Just when you think you have everything figured out, life tends to throw you a curve ball. I had settled into life here in San Diego, found a job I liked and had my friends close by, so I figured I couldn’t ask for more. Then, out of the blue, the company I was working for was purchased and a new job offer on the table had me thinking about moving to Los Angeles. It was an important decision, and I didn’t have a lot of time to decide what to do. It made me wonder, though, when it comes to anything that’s really important in life, is there ever enough time?
Of course, the first person I told about the job offer was my best friend, Brian, while we were at the gym. After getting in shape, we blew our diets with a great meal at Jimmy Carter’s Mexican Café and then headed back to his house so I could show him how his new computer’s Web cam worked. Thankfully, my friend Alex was online, so I decided to videoconference him and tell him about the new job.
“I’ve got big news.” I said to Alex, who was in the middle of eating a high-protein dinner.
“Let me guess,” he responded, taking a bite of meat for dramatic pause while he thought. “You’ve been offered a new job and you’re moving to L.A.”
“How in the world did you guess that?” I asked.
“I know you better than you know yourself,” Alex responded. “When are we going to talk about this supposed move?”
Alex and I met for dinner at Chipotle the next night and I gave him the lowdown. I had been handling PR work for All Worlds Video for over a year, and with Channel 1 Releasing purchasing the company, I wasn’t sure what was going on with my job until I was offered a position with them in Los Angles. And, really, who wouldn’t want to do PR work for Chi Chi LaRue?
“Well, that’s good for you and all,” Alex said, “but what about me? Who am I going to go to lunch with, gamble with and hang out with?”
Memorial Day was quickly approaching and I had it all planned out. Rich’s was having their first-ever Spin Cycle Foam Party, the May Gray was taking a weekend off and it was going to be great beach weather for the first time in a long time. I had everything all planned out, until I got a call from my mom telling me that my dad’s doctor had said that his cancer had taken a turn for the worse.
Fresno is never a place you want to end up in the summer. Heck, it’s not really a fun place to ever be. No kidding, when I got to my parents house the local news was on and the lead story was about how a guy was arrested for planning a KKK rally for more than 200 people at his home. Apparently, the police got him for not having the proper permits. Needless to say, with 200 KKK members in town with nothing to do, I wasn’t planning on going near the one gay bar in town that hadn’t been burned down. Thankfully, I was able to sneak out of my parents’ house to hang out with my friend Jenna, and I shared some of my top-secret drink recipes from Martinis Above Fourth with her and her gay neighbor, Dave.
After one sip of a pomegranate martini, Jenna said, “I think you should stay here in Fresno and be my own private bartender.”
When I left to go to Fresno, I knew what the outcome of the trip was going to be. And while I did get away from my parents’ house a couple of times to keep my sanity in check, I spent the majority of the time with my dad. We caught a couple of baseball games at Fresno State, which was fitting considering I had grown up going to ballgames with him. The rest of the time at home I spent with Sara, a close friend of the family who I think of as a sister and who drove up from L.A., watching TV and trying to make sure my dad was entertained. On one of my last trips home, we had watched the Kathy Griffin DVD Allegedly, and Dad enjoyed it. So, naturally, Sara and I wanted to catch the new season of her show and thought Dad would get a kick out of it.
The next morning, my Mom made a strange request while she was fixing breakfast: “I don’t want you watching that show anymore.”
I was puzzled and asked why.
“Because last night when I was helping Dad get ready for bed he said he was on the D-List now,” Mom said adding that she wasn’t sure what it meant but she didn’t like it.
But to me it meant he had enjoyed the show, and for what it’s worth he will always be on my A-List.
I knew how my trip home to Fresno would end, and after the dust settled what I really needed was to see my friends and escape from all the things that had been on my mind for the three weeks I was at home.
Fortunately, when I returned to San Diego on Thursday my friends had already made plans to go out to Bacchus House where Chi Chi LaRue was going to be spinning and Tyler Riggz would be appearing in Coco LaChine’s It’s Raining Men wet underwear contest.
Alex and I started the night off with a cocktail or two at Martinis Above Fourth with Dale and Chaz. Later, Brian and one of my favorite waiters from Martinis, Bruce, who had just finished working his shift, joined us. Not along for the fun was Fox because he was on a ride-along with a police officer friend of his.
As we departed Martinis on our way to Bacchus House, Alex decided to call Fox to check in. He quickly hung up his phone and looked at me, saying, “Is it a good or a bad thing when your boyfriend, who is on a ride-along with a cop, shushes you and says, ‘I’ve got to be quiet, we’re going in!’ and then hangs up on you?”
I had missed my friend Alex’s birthday while I was gone, so now that I was back in town, and it being a Monday, we decided to spare no expense and go to Baja Betty’s for the half-price special… because we blew all of our money on his birthday gift. So Alex, his boyfriend, Fox, Brian, Marc and I all met for dinner. During our lively discussion, I mentioned that I was picking up a special friend, whom I hadn’t seen since I went home to Fresno, from the airport the next day and I wanted to get him some flowers.
“I was thinking of roses or something,” I explained.
“I think pansies would be more appropriate,” Alex said, laughing at his own joke. “Why are you even asking me this?”
“Because, despite what I may say, I trust your judgment and value your opinion when it comes to things like that,” I admitted.
“Ohh, write that down,” Brian said mockingly. “June 19, the day Travis admitted he needed you.”
I’ve always needed my friends. Growing up, going to college and now living here in San Diego, my friends are my family. And wherever it is that I go, they will always be a part of my life – whether it’s to Fresno, Los Angeles or wherever I may end up. And until then, it’s all about spending special time with special friends because you never know how long the fun is going to last. This weekend I’m having a reunion with my college friends who are in town and I’m going to make it to the Spin Cycle Rinse foam party at Rich’s on Monday, July 3 (because everyone has Tuesday off!), to dance my ass off with my buddies. I’m even going to get to see Kathy Griffin live at Copley Symphony Hall on July 22, so I can laugh and remember some pretty good times! The truth is that there is never enough time for the people, decisions and things that are most important in life. But if you make the most of the time you have, you won’t have any regrets.